Love Can Mend The Pain
by OtakuScum
Summary: ON HIATUS! Axel and Roxas have been friends their entire lives. But things begin to change. Their relationship heats up, but Roxas is still struggling with his own problems. Can love really mend the pain? (Rated M for sexual content and profanity *oops*)
1. Questions

**Chapter 1**

"Questions"

Today seemed like any other. Roxas was spending the day with his best friend, Axel. Every day, after they were finally released from high school, the two would walk

back to Axel's house. They were such close friends. It wasn't surprising, seeing as they had been friends practically since birth. They knew everything about each

other. Or so they thought.

"Hey Axel?" The younger blond called from the couch. The older peeked his head from the kitchen. "What's up Rox?" The blond sat for a moment without responding.

The redhead cocked an eyebrow and questioned the boy. "Something on your mind?" The boy just sat with his eyes fixed on his small pair of feet. "Uhh aha nothing's

wrong. Just uh, no crust please." That clearly wasn't what he was originally going to say… It seemed strange for Roxas to hold back from Axel. They never kept

secrets from each other. They told the other anything and everything; no matter how embarrassing or terrible it may be. Axel felt a bit hurt that Roxas could be

keeping a secret from him. But he respected his friend's decision and dropped the conversation.

"You want jelly on your crustless sandwich?" Axel called from the kitchen, returning to his work. The younger giggled a bit "Ew, no" Axel once again peeked from the

kitchen returning a giggle "What do you mean '_ew'_?!" Axel emerged from the kitchen and handed Roxas the freshly made peanut butter sandwich, taking a large bite

out of his own. Axel collapsed onto the couch cushion beside Roxas, resting his head on his spindly fingers. "You actually eat that shit? Its the worst! Everything, the

texture, the taste…" With his mouth full of the sticky substance, Axel tried his best to speak. "Well next time, I'll make sure you get extra jelly." Axel winked at Roxas

who responded with a roll of his eyes, an annoyed shake of the head and a slight smile.

The day carried on as usual; simply spending time together. One would think they would get sick of each other given how much they were around one another. But it

was quite the opposite. It seemed like they couldn't get enough of each other. As if the time they spent with one another wasn't enough…and they spent _a lot _of time

together.

It was around seven o'clock when the summer sky began to shift to an evening red. With the impending night approaching, Roxas knew it was about time to head

home. As much as he hated leaving Axel all alone in that empty house, he knew that his twin brother Sora was waiting for his arrival. Axel realized it was about that

time when Roxas usually left. "Hey, you wanna spend the night? I mean, its a Friday, so its not like we gotta go to school tomorrow." Roxas liked that idea. It wasn't

like his mom would care, she was always too drunk to care about anything. Including her own children. "Yeah, sure. I should probably tell Sora though. Can I use the

phone?" "Rox, You don't have to ask permission to use the phone… Mi casa es su casa." With Axel's remark, Roxas let out a chuckle and grabbed the phone.

The call was short, but all was well. Sora didn't plan on staying at the house anyway. He decided to stay over at his friend Riku's again. Roxas was pretty sure their

relationship was a bit more than platonic. But he never had the guts to ask him about it.

Night was quickly approaching as Axel and Roxas sat on the couch playing poker. "Hey I'm gonna go get changed. You coming?" Axel asked as he stood up and

stretched his long limbs. "Uh, yeah. But I don't have any clothes with me." The blond looked down at the tight 'My Chemical Romance' shirt and jeans he had worn to

school that day. "So you can borrow some of mine! No biggie!" The redhead smiled at the smaller boy. He grabbed Roxas by the forearm and led him to his bedroom.

"They'll probably be a bit big on you since you're so tiny." Axel teased. Roxas folded him arms and gave him a glare, but couldn't contain the smile that pulled at the

corners of his mouth. The older pawed through his clothes and pulled out a pair of plaid sweatpants paired with a black hoodie with chains where the strings ought to

be. "Here you can wear these." Axel stated as he tossed the clothes to Roxas. As Axel rummaged through his clothes to find some pajamas of his own, Roxas got right

to changing. He had no problem changing in front of Axel. They were best friends after all.

Axel soon slipped into his comfier clothes as well. However, as usual, he was going shirtless. Roxas had seen Axel shirtless countless times. But recently, he'd get this

odd feeling in his stomach whenever the man happened to be without a shirt. It was strange, these feelings he started to notice. For some reason, Roxas felt nervous

around him. Was he _crushing _on _Axel_?! No. There was no way. Roxas wasn't gay. Or… at least he didn't think he was.

Axel noticed that Roxas didn't quite seem like himself lately. He seemed to be hiding things from Axel. While Roxas was entitled to his privacy, Axel couldn't help but

feel a little pain. But lately, it seemed like Axel might be holding things in from Roxas too. Maybe they were drifting apart? Or maybe they were just too embarrassed

to confess to each other their feelings for one another…

The two sat on Axel's bed. Roxas was sitting at the end with his legs tucked under him, while Axel leaned back against his arms in a casual, relaxed way. It was silent.

Not quite awkward, just a bit uncomfortable. And it stayed that way until Axel finally broke the silence. "Hey Rox?" The blond shot him a questioning glance. "Do you

still like Naminé? I mean, you don't really act like it." Well that was unexpected… Roxas got over the initial shock of the random question and gave the redhead an

answer. "Uh, no. I don't think I really _ever_ did to be honest." The older looked surprised by this. Roxas never really seemed to take a romantic interest in anyone.

Maybe he was just asexual?

"Do you like _anyone_?" Roxas was once againsurprised. Where was all this coming from? Why the sudden interest? "…Well, yeah sorta." The redhead was taken aback

by this. Roxas had a crush on someone and he didn't tell him?! What the hell? "What?! Who?" The eagerness in Axel's voice hadn't even been tried to be veiled. The

redhead leaned forward to the blond with his jaw slightly ajar. By now, Roxas's eyes had grown unbelievably wide and his cheeks immensely red. He managed to

stutter out a simple "W-Wha…Why?" Axel's emerald eyes studied the younger's face in utter confusion. "I'm your best friend, duh. C'mon Rox!"

Roxas felt like he was going to throw up. How the hell could he tell his _guy_ best friend that he had fallen in love with him?! He valued their friendship, he didn't know

what he'd do if they ever stopped being friends. Roxas struggled with his words. He sat in silence, but Axel had to get answers. "Aw, c'mon Rox! Okay fine, do I know

them?" The blond looked at the man and nodded. "Alright, do they go to our school?" Another nod. "Hmm… Are they a female?" Oh god, that question he was

dreading. Roxas swallowed hard, shifted his glance from Axel's piercing green eyes, and shook his head. "Ah, really? Didn't know you swung that way." Axel chuckled,

but Roxas felt he was on the verge of tears. "Just one more question. Kay?" Roxas continued to avoid Axel's eyes as the next question was asked. There was a brief

pause, and complete silence filled the room for what seemed like an eternity. "Is it me?"


	2. Just Friends

**Chapter 2**

"Just Friends"

"Is it me?" The words still echoed through Roxas's head. He looked back up at Axel whose bony cheeks had risen to a slightly warmer color. Roxas's mouth fell to slightly agape. He had to answer. He couldn't listen to his legs that were telling him to run. He had to confess the things he was hiding. Roxas's breath hitched as he met eyes with Axel.

The green eyes staring back at him had a desperate look to them. Roxas didn't know how to answer with words. He stared at the redhead for a moment, and then his body reacted. He pounced atop of Axel and crashed his lips into the pair in front of him. Roxas's eyes had slipped closed, but Axel's were wide with shock. For a moment, he didn't respond. He couldn't... He froze. But it wasn't long before he found himself kissing the smaller boy back.

It began tentative, but soon progressed. It wasn't long before heavy breaths and passionate kissing noises filled the silent room. Axel's tongue brushed along Roxas's bottom lip, asking for entry. The younger wasted no time in giving Axel what he wanted. Their tongues began to form a dance. The muscles sliding across one another caused the blond to let out a moan-like whimper. Immediately brought back to reality by the subconscious embarrassing noise he just made, Roxas pulled back and placed his fingertips over his still wet lips. The two were breathing heavy and in a daze. Neither could quite comprehend what just happened.

"I take that as a yes?" The older man smirked and looked deep into the cerulean eyes staring back at him. Roxas's face was now as red as Axel's hair. He couldn't believe what he just did. He thought his heart was going to pound right out of his chest. He didn't know what to say. "I-I'm sorry." The blond apologized and started to get up. That was, until he felt a large warm hand grab him arm and pull him toward a matching warm body. Roxas found himself sitting in Axel's lap with his back against the man's bare chest. Long slim arms wrapped around him in a tight embrace. "Don't be sorry. I like you too." Roxas didn't think his face could get any redder. Or at least, not until Axel whispered those four words in his ear.

A shiver went down Roxas's spine as the hot breath from Axel's mouth caressed his ear. Axel's long legs stretched out from their position to a slightly bent one that practically encased Roxas. Axel's lanky torso bent over the smaller male as he hugged him tighter. Roxas's cold hands found their way to the arms that were wrapped around him. The sudden contact of icy skin on warm startled the older slightly. Roxas's hands stayed on the warm skin, however. It was a strange gesture, but Roxas hugged the arms that held him.

The two stayed in this position for quite some time. All the while, sitting in silence. Without realizing it, Axel's body slowly slipped into a laying position as he and Roxas drifted to sleep, the blond still in his arms. When Roxas woke up, he felt the weight of another body holding him just as tight as last night. He turned his head back to see a sleeping Axel. His glance drifted back in front of him, noticing that evidently sometime during the night, the long warm fingers and the small cold ones become intertwined. So it wasn't a dream…


	3. Confession

**Author's Note: **I'd love to get some feedback from you guys! I have no idea whether this is even interesting... Critique is always welcome!

Chapter 3

"Confession"

Roxas didn't dare to move. He just stayed in Axel's arms until the redhead woke up on his own. The little blond laid there, embraced by Axel, for quite some time. He could feel the bare chest behind him rise and fall slowly. His hot breath gently hitting Roxas's small ears with every exhale. It was like that for a while. Until around eight o'clock, when a low, throaty groan came from the man behind him. The man began to stretch his limbs as his heavy eyelids slowly opened. Evidently, Axel also forgot about their sleeping position. As soon as the older's vision cleared from the fog of sleep, he jumped back a bit when he noticed the smaller body conformed to his own. So it wasn't a dream…

"Mornin' sunshine!" The redhead's voice was still scratchy as he greeted the smaller boy against him. Roxas turned over in his place and faced the man. "Morning…" Neither could resist the smiles tugging at the corners of each of their mouths. They were content. Everything was out on the table. Axel knew Roxas liked him, and Roxas knew Axel felt the same. Everything was so perfect. Could things possibly get any better?

The two laid in bed enjoying the simple intimacy. It was getting warm in Axel's room. With out even thinking, Roxas removed his sweatshirt. He tossed it aside and laid back down with his newly bare back against the other's bare chest. The redhead began to gently stroke the skin of the blond's arm. Featherlight fingers touched the inside of his forearm. The fingers moved in larger strokes, reaching his wrist. That's when the fingers suddenly came to a halt. And as soon as they did, Roxas's world seemed to shatter. _Shit._

Axel quickly sat up and grabbed the small wrist of the boy. He pulled it close to his face and inspected it. There, laid deep in the skin, were lines. Ones of fresh red, and fading white. Roxas quickly snatched his arm back and held it close to his chest. He couldn't look at Axel. He didn't dare to.

Axel was in shock. He never knew his best friend had been suffering enough to hurt himself. He didn't want to believe it. Tears were welling up in his eyes. He felt like such a shitty friend for not realizing. Not being able to pick up on all those red flags that were now so obvious. He blamed no one but himself. He felt guilty; he felt responsible for his friend's suffering.

"Rox… I'm sorry" The blond couldn't believe the words that were just said to him. 'Sorry'? What the hell was Axel sorry for? "Wha… What do you mean? Why are _you_ sorry?" The blond managed to look directly into those stunning green pair of eyes before him. Their color was even more brilliant with the contrasting color of red consuming the whites of his eyes. "It… It's my fault. I'm such a shit friend. I couldn't even tell that you were hurting that much. Even though you were so close… I was still too stupid to realize it…" Roxas was in complete shock now. Axel blamed himself? Why? "Axel, what the hell? You were the only good thing in my life… Even when everything went to shit, you were the one thing that kept me around." The redhead pleaded Roxas didn't mean what he thought he meant by 'keeping him around'. "What do you mean 'keep you around'?" The younger didn't want to answer. He didn't want the redhead to know how close he had come before to ending his own life. He didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure if he should tell him, or even _how_ to tell him for that matter. "What? So you just thought that no one would care if you died? You didn't think anyone would miss you? _Fuck, Roxas_…" The tone of Axel's voice hinted anger. "Did you not think that there are people out there that wouldn't know how to live without you? Did you even think about that? If you died… Don't you _ever_ fucking think that you don't matter…." Roxas didn't know if he should cry out of happiness or anger. He was so glad to hear that someone actually cared about him. He was overjoyed. On the other hand, he was practically being yelled at for having depression. Nonetheless, tears formed in his eyes and streamed down his face. He couldn't hold back the tears, full of a slur of emotions. He felt like such a child. Sitting there on Axel's bed, scolded for doing what was frowned upon.

His legs were now screaming for him to run. Once again, he tried to get up. But those hands grabbed him again. He was pulled back down in front of Axel. The wrist that was held by the warm hand pulled it back up to the redhead's face. Without speaking a word, he placed light kisses on the wounds. Slowly, the butterfly kisses worked their way from his wrist, up his arm, across his prominent collar bone, hovering around his neck, along his jaw, and finally on his lips.

Axel could taste the saltiness of Roxas's tears on his lips. His mouth moved from the pair of pink lips. A large thumb wiped away the tears streaming from the boy. The man stopped and grabbed the younger's face in his hands, forcing his to look in his eyes. "I didn't mean to be such a dick. I just… I don't want you to hurt yourself." The blond drew in a sniffle and nodded his head. The redhead placed a kiss on his nose.

"I know what its like." The man said as he released the boy's face. "You do…?" The redhead shifted his glance out the window. "Yeah. I really hated myself for a while. Ya know, I thought I was better off dead." The blond had never seen this side of Axel. He had never seen him speak so seriously. "I mean, I never tried or anything, but I thought about it a lot." The man looked back at the blond who was still clutching his scarred wrist. The redhead decided to continue. "I used to hurt myself too." The boy quickly looked up at the man. "I used to burn myself on purpose. Ha, I guess I really am a pyro…" Axel was smiling, but Roxas knew he was hurting. He could see it in his eyes.

The boy scanned the man's body for scars. But he couldn't find a single blemish. Axel noticed Roxas's searching and pulled the waist band of his sweatpants to expose his thigh. The blond couldn't believe this was the same perfect skin that covered the man. Instead of flawless milky white skin, the leg was pink and blotchy. Roxas carefully reached a hand forward and placed his icy fingers on the deformed skin. "You don't need to be so gentle, I lost all feeling there anyway." The boy ran his finger along the skin. It was no longer smooth and soft like the rest of Axel's body. His finger dipped and climbed every lump of scar tissue.

Roxas felt Axel's pain. It seemed as though even though it was Axel's leg that was scarred, Roxas could feel every ounce of hurt the redhead did. He understood why Axel had got so angry with him. The blond didn't know what to feel. Anger? Empathy? He didn't know. "Why… Why did you do that?" Roxas questioned with a weak voice as he continued to stare and stroke the skin. The man's expression fell as he managed to mumble his answer. "Because I deserved it"


	4. Our Darkest Corners

**Chapter 4**

"Our Darkest Corners"

"You… deserved it? What the hell do you mean?" Axel could hear the tinge of anger in Roxas's voice. But not only anger, Axel could also distinguish a hint of understanding. Roxas knew exactly what the redhead was feeling. He knew that hurt. But to hear those feelings out loud… they sounded so foreign. It seemed strange… silly almost… that Axel felt that same hate toward himself. The man seemed so perfect, what could he possibly dislike about himself? Roxas's flaws were clear to himself. He knew what a horrible person he was. But Axel? Roxas couldn't pick out a single imperfection.

"Yeah, I deserved it. I've fucked up too, ya know? I've done things, said things, thought things… things that are unforgivable. And for those shitty things, I felt I needed to be punished. 'Cause hell knows I wasn't given enough shit for those things…" Roxas was stunned. Of course, Roxas had done the same as Axel. But thinking that and actually hearing it is completely different.

"And what about you? Why'd you put yourself through hell?" Roxas wasn't quite sure how to answer. There were so many reasons. "I guess to put it simply, I just hate myself." The words sounded childish as soon as they left his mouth. He wished he could just reach into the air and swallow his words, so Axel would never hear them. But he couldn't. Axel heard every word. However, to Roxas's surprise, he didn't make of him. In fact, he did quite the opposite. The man scooped up the boy in his arms and held him tight. He _consoled _him. He _comforted _him.

The blond merely sat there for a moment, held by Axel. They understood each other's darkest corners. But soon, Roxas's arms found their way around the man, pulling him closer. However, it was as if they couldn't get close enough. They were desperately pulling each other as near to their body as possible. It was asphyxiating, but comforting at the same time.

The mood was quickly broken, however. In their desperate embrace, Axel began to chuckle. This wasn't exactly a humorous scenario. Roxas pulled back. "What the hell is so funny?" The boy almost spat the words to the giggling redhead. "We're both a fucking mess, aren't we?" The man finally managed to say through his laughing. The blond smirked, breaking the tension. "Ha… Yeah, I guess we are."

Roxas finally lightened up and joined the man in his laughter. The mood was light for a while. That was, until Axel's eyes drifted back to the thin, scarred wrist of Roxas. His expression immediately dropped. Roxas noticed his intent stare at the deformed appendage. He could feel the emerald eyes eating away at his skin. The boy squirmed at the imaginary feeling. But Axel's fixed eyes didn't move. Hell, he hardly blinked. There was something unsettling about it. Roxas felt naked. His darkest secret was on display. He thought he was going to break down into a panic attack.

Roxas pulled at his wrist, attempting to conceal the physical proof of his mental battle. But Axel had another idea. He pulled right back, tugging the arm toward himself. Axel pulled the arm, and with that arm, a small blond. The boy practically fell onto Axel as his frail arm dragged him to the warm body. The man held the wrist in front of Roxas's face. The boy saw a facial expression on the man he had never seen before. His brows were tightly knitted and the corners of his mouth were pulled down. However, his eyes were soft. "Don't ever fucking do this again." Axel obviously had tried to sound stern, but his voice was weak with concern. The blond looked up at him and nodded. "I'm serious Rox." The boy pulled his wrist back. "I know you're serious." He snapped back. Roxas didn't know why he was angry with Axel. He cared about Roxas… He knew that. But something about the whole situation rubbed him the wrong way.

The redhead sat with wide eyes and a mouth slightly a jar, staring at the blonde. The air was thick with tension. Neither dared to speak. This conversation had turned into a game of minesweeper. One wrong move, and everything would go to shit. They sat in awkward silence. As the tension dissipated, words once again began to flow. "Sorry" The blond mumbled. "Nah, nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I should apologize. Ha, I guess I was a bit harsh." Roxas finally managed to tear his gaze away from his scars and into the man's eyes. He could see a soft smile pulling at Axel's mouth. To his surprise, he felt his own mouth begin to form the same gesture.

And as if nothing had even happened, the two found themselves back in their original position. Roxas had found himself curled up in Axel's welcoming arms once again. The two enjoyed their lazy Saturday in Axel's bed. They laid there for hours. The rest of the world didn't matter. Not when they were together.

Everything was so peaceful; so pristine. Life was perfect. Each of their darkest corners had been explored by the other. And despite the horrible things that lurked there, neither retreated. They faced the demons head on, unfazed by what they might encounter. It was a fantastic feeling, being accepted in your rawest form.

Roxas couldn't refrain from feeling ecstatic over the result of this accidental incident. After all of his efforts to hide his darkness, it became completely irrelevant. Axel accepted him no matter what he had been through. Because for some reason, Axel truly believed Roxas was perfect no matter what. Somehow, he believed this despite the horrible markings he made on his own skin, or the terrible words he spoke about himself. Axel didn't care.

Axel wasn't quite sure if the cute blond in his arms had fallen asleep. But he spoke anyway. "Rox, I don't care about the scars on your wrist. I just want you to be happy… ya know? 'Cause… I love you."


	5. I Love You

**Chapter 5**

"I Love You"

"I love you." But Roxas wasn't asleep. Roxas heard every word. He was so surprised, he couldn't respond. Instead, he just pretended to be off in a dreamland. And while Axel easily slipped into slumber, Roxas found himself laying awake for the majority of the night. How _could _he sleep? Axel confessed to Roxas that he was in love with him. Without even knowing if he was awake. He had no idea if Roxas had even heard him .

It all seemed to be moving so fast. Were they even officially together? They had never really talked about it. These past few days had been a bit of a whirl. They definitely acted more than friends. But their relationship status wasn't really set in stone.

How the hell was he supposed to respond? Roxas didn't want to ruin everything. But at the same time, he wasn't quite sure he wanted things to change. Everything was so perfect the way it was. Why risk ruining it all?

Roxas's head was swimming in anxiety. Sleep was impossible at this point. The best thing that had ever happened to him was possibly in jeopardy. He laid awake thinking excessively over what to do. Axel, however, was carelessly sleeping, holding his beloved Roxas in his arms. His face was of pure bliss. Roxas had never seen such a genuine expression on the man. This only added onto the guilt and pressure Roxas was already overwhelmed with. Rejecting Axel's love now would be the most terrible thing Roxas could do to him.

Roxas was Axel's entire world. He had no one else to depend on. His parents abandoned him some three years ago when Axel was only 15. They were never like a family. His parents were always leaving Axel home alone. He learned to depend on only himself far too young. It damaged him. He had always been a bit of a lone wolf. But after his parents left, he didn't want anything to do with _anyone_. Anyone except Roxas. Roxas was the one consistently decent thing in Axel's life. Everyone had always left Axel. So much so, that Axel thought it was inevitable. That he would just end up alone. So he clung to Roxas. With Roxas, Axel didn't need anyone else. While it was falttering to be so heavily admired, it created problems of its own. Axel didn't want Roxas to spend time with anyone but him. It seemed selfish, but it made sense. He didn't want Roxas to find someone better and leave… Like everyone else did.

Axel's heavy eyelids finally began to lift. As his vision cleared, he noticed his bed was one man short. Axel jolted up at looked around. His hair was a mess of wild red spikes. He tugged at the elastic around his wrist and pulled it around the mass of hair. With his firey mane somewhat tamed in a ponytail, Axel pushed himself up from the bed and onto his still tired legs. The man rubbed his eyes to clear the remaining fog and opened his bedroom door. "Rox?" He called out for the boy as he opened the door. But there was no response.

The moment Axel stepped foot out of his bedroom, he was hit by a wall of a sweet aroma. He turned the corner to the kitchen. Only to find a small blond boy in Axel's apron… shirtless. "Morning!" The blond beamed his brilliant smile toward the man. Axel, still groggy from sleep, plopped onto one of the stools lining the kitchen's island. "You're awfully chipper…" Axel's voice was scratchy as he spoke. Roxas simply chuckled and handed Axel a warm plate. The redhead cocked an eye brow and questioned the gesture. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" Roxas grabbed a plateful of food for himself and sat next to the man. He turned in his seat and faced Axel. His bubbly expression fell slightly. "Hey Axel?" The man looked over to the boy and shot him a concerned look. "What's wrong Rox?" The blond bit his lower lip nervously, trying to build up the courage to bring up such a topic. "Um well… What are we? Like… Are we just friends, or are we…more?" Axel was a bit surprised, but managed to confidently respond. "Well that all depends." Roxas looked back at the redhead, obviously confused. "On what?" The man smirked and continued. "Well it all depends on what _you _want. 'Cause while I'd love for us to be more, I can understand if you don't want that. So it's all up to you." Roxas thought for a moment. It was all up to him? This entire relationship rested on his shoulders now. "Well I know how I feel. I'm sure about it now." Axel looked to Roxas, trying desperately to hide his anxiety. "And what's that?" The redhead couldn't wait any longer. Roxas looked directly into the pair of emerald jewels before him. He sat for a moment, admiring their beauty. "I love you too."


	6. Can You Handle The Heat?

**Chapter 6**

"Can You Handle The Heat?"

Axel could have sworn he was still sleeping, and that this was all just some magnificent dream. "Hey, Rox… If this is a dream, please don't ever wake me up." As the words were leaving his mouth, Axel's large warm hands gripped onto the boy's face. He paused for a moment, gazing into the beautiful blue eyes before him. His own eyes darted around the face, drinking everything in.

The hands tightened and assertively pulled the blond's face toward his own. Their lips crashed together into a deep, passionate kiss. Neither questioned entry before their tongues greeted one another. Axel had found his new favorite taste… Roxas. His tongue explored the boy's small mouth, savoring the sweet, sweet taste.

Axel's hand moved from Roxas's face and down his back. He scooped his hands under the small butt and lifted the blond onto his lap. All the while, never breaking the kiss. Roxas straddled the man below him. For once, the smaller of the two was the one bending down to reach the other. Roxas's small cold hands were cupping the man's face as the passionate kiss continued. The boy on Axel's lap scooted forward, creating friction on both southern hemispheres. As Roxas's crotch grazed across the other's, he noticed just how excited Axel _really_ was. The redhead let out a weak moan into the boy's mouth at the sensation. Roxas's hands slid down Axel's face and onto his chest. There, they paused for a moment, but continued their journey south. The small hands reached their destination and tentatively cupped the large bulge. Axel practically fell out of his seat. He pulled his lips from the boy and looked him in the eyes. "Rox, are you sure?" The small hand's grip tightened. Axel sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth and squinted his eyes as his head fell back slightly. "Rox, maybe we should move to the bedroom or something." The blond, without saying a word, leaned back in to continue their kiss. Axel didn't hesitate to kiss the boy back with the same intensity and heat as before. The man scooped his hands under the boy's rear once again, and lifted him up. Roxas's hands left Axel's crotch as he wrapped his arms around the man's neck and his legs locked around his waist for support.

Axel carried his angel to his bedroom, pushed the door closed with his foot, and threw the boy on the bed. Roxas laid there on his back, looking up at Axel. The man leaned down over Roxas, placing his hands on either side of the boy's head, and his knees also on either side of the small body. His head leaned in for a kiss as the small of his back arched and his shoulders hunched. The man's long fingers ran through Roxas's messy golden spikes as the boy's smaller ones tugged the elastic off Axel's ponytail. Roxas's fingers ran through the newly freed hair, clutching it as the kiss deepened. The boy below the man bucked his hips upward, grinding their growing 'excitement' together. Roxas broke the kiss and looked into the lustful eyes before him. "Axel…" Roxas whispered, just loud enough for the man to hear. The man's hand slipped down to the other's waistband, sliding his hand in before the boy could protest. Axel's warm hand gripped the growing member through the boy's underwear. "You're getting pretty hard." The man seductively whispered the words into the boy's ear. He could feel the body below him tense. "Well so are you…" The boy's voice was shaky. Roxas was clearly nervous. Axel removed his hand from the blond's pants. "Rox, are you sure you want to do this? I don't want to push you into anything." Roxas looked the man in the eyes. "No, I'm sure." Axel leaned down and placed a quick kiss on the small pink lips. "If I go too far, just tell me to stop."

The man moved his kissing to the boy's neck. He sucked at the skin, then bit down just enough to leave his mark. His tongue gently lapped at the bite mark, apologizing for the rough gesture. His lips continued to move down the boy's body. Reaching his chest, Axel took a pink bud between his teeth ever so gently. His tongue grazed across the tip, receiving a barely audible moan from Roxas. The man's skilled fingers toyed with the bud as his mouth left.

Axel continued his way down until he reached the boy's waistband. He kissed at the skin of his lower abdomen as he slid the pants down, leaving Roxas in only his underwear. The man smiled at how utterly adorable the blond looked in just his pink briefs. Axel chewed at his lower lip, just staring at Roxas. "I'm not dreaming right?" The boy chuckled at Axel's question. "Haha no Axel, you're not dreaming." Axel beamed and placed another kiss on Roxas's mouth.

The redhead returned to his expedition of Roxas's lower region. One of his large hands cupped the ever growing bulge as his tongue continued to probe the small mouth. Roxas's cold hands dipped below the man's waistband to grip the larger member. The hand began to stroke Axel's unbelievably hard genitalia. The man's breathing became labored as Roxas increased his speed and friction. Attempting to give the boy the same amount of pleasure, Axel's hand slipped into the tight pink briefs. Gripping the smaller member, the redhead rubbed his thumb over the tip that was already coated in pre-cum. Roxas's breathing hitched at the sensation as he bucked his hips into Axel's hand. The boy threw his head back in pure ecstasy to this new feeling.

Heavy breaths and mumbled names filled the room. The two tried their best to keep up each other's pace through their daze of euphoria. Suddenly, Roxas felt a strange sensation. He felt something…inside of him. "Nnhg Axel! What the hell?" The redhead looked up from sucking at the boy's neck. "Hm?" Roxas was squirming at the odd feeling. "Get your fucking fingers out!" The man's expression turned slightly disappointed. "You hate it?" The boy didn't know how to respond. "N-no. It just doesn't exactly feel…good." Axel slinked his body up so his face was directly in front of Roxas's. "I told you if I go too far, just stop me. But I promise you I can make it feel good." Roxas's face was flushed red from nervousness and embarrassment. "O-okay. Promise?" A cheshire cat grin creeped across Axel's face. "I swear."

The man leaned down and pressed his body flush against the smaller one as he placed a passionate kiss on the small pink lips. He trailed the kisses down the boy's neck, halting at his prominent collar bone. He nipped and licked at the milky skin, marking the boy as his own. The fingers inside Roxas began to move and scissor, stretching his insides. The blond gritted his teeth and dug his nails into Axel's back, drawing crimson lines across the perfect skin. The man pulled the boy's briefs off as well as his own. His large hand stroked the smaller member a few times as he reached toward a drawer beside his bed. Roxas was laying on his back, legs apart, and hands over his reddened face. "Hey, are you sure this is what you want?" The boy lifted his hands from his face to see Axel leaning over him, a concerned look engulfing his face. "Of course I'm sure." The man's expression remained the same. "You don't have to go through with this. I can stop…" But Roxas cut him short. "No, I'm sure. I want you." With the confirmation, Axel smiled and continued. "Ready?" The blond nodded and held his breath. Seconds later, he could feel Axel slowly entering. The man could feel the boy below him tense in discomfort. "I'm sorry. I'm almost all the way in." Roxas's face had contorted into an expression of obvious discomfort. "Okay…" The words escaped through gritted teeth.

Axel hated seeing Roxas like this. He wanted to make him feel good. He wanted Roxas to feel so good, he would see stars. But in order for that to happen, he had to go through a little discomfort. Axel eased his way in until his member completely filled the boy. It was an amazing feeling, being so connected. Axel savored every second. His long arms were wrapped tightly around the smaller body, their hips flush against one another's. "Ah, Axel…" The man lifted his head from the boy's shoulder, looking him in the eyes. "You okay Rox?" The boy nodded. "Y-yeah." The redhead didn't think he could hold on any longer. "Can I move?" The boy nodded again, gripping a fistful of the blankets below him. The man held his face directly in front of Roxas's, close enough for their noses to touch. Axel stared deep into the beautiful cerulean blue eyes as he slowly pulled his hips out then pushed them back into the boy's. His speed began to increase as he felt the body underneath him begin to relax, never unlocking his deep gaze into Roxas's eyes. Soon, his thrusts became deeper and rougher. Axel pulled Roxas closer and pushed himself deep inside the boy. The man knew he had hit the blond's sweet spot. Roxas's nails dug deeper into Axel's skin as his back arched, pulling the man in further.

The boy who seemed so quiet, turned out to be quite the screamer in bed. With every graze over his sweet spot, Roxas moaned Axel's name. "Fuck, Axel. Oh my god. Ah, Axel!" A slur of words fell from the boy's mouth. But the one word that always managed to fit into every sentence was 'Axel'. Axel was ecstatic knowing Roxas was finally experiencing that extreme pleasure. He was so happy that Roxas was finally seeing stars.

The man was wrapped tightly around the boy. His face pressed firmly at Roxas's shoulder, kissing affectionately at the skin he had previously marked. The man kept whispering the boy's name over and over. "Roxas… Roxas" He had never seen Axel like this. It was almost… a whimper.

Roxas could feel he was close to his release. Axel could feel his own approaching as well. A large hand wrapped around the free member, stroking it vigorously. The hand movements synchronized with the man's hip thrusts, bringing Roxas even closer to the edge of orgasm. His hips bucked into the hand as his fingers drew more blood from Axel's back.

Feeling the coil in his abdomen reach its limit, Axel pulled out of the boy. Roxas quickly looked to the man as an empty feeling replaced the satisfying full one. "Well I can't cum inside you." The man noted as he began to stroke himself. Roxas reached his small hand around the larger member. "Let me." The boy began to move his hand up and down the longer shaft as he shifted his body toward the man. Axel reached his own hand down to the smaller member and returned the favor. Suddenly, Axel felt warmth surround his long shaft. Looking down, he saw Roxas's blond head bobbing up and down. "Ah, Rox. I -ah- I can't hold it any -ah- more." But the mouth didn't leave the man's member. "Hng! Rox, I- I'm gonna cum if you -ah- keep that up…" Axel couldn't hold it any longer. Roxas felt Axel's hot fluid fill his mouth, causing his own to spill onto the man's hand. The boy swallowed the load, not wasting a drop.

The two men laid there in Axel's bed, their chests slowly heaving up and down. Both were in a bit of a daze after what had just happened. Axel laid on his back with the smaller boy conformed to his side, a long arm lovingly pulling him in. As their heartbeats and breaths began to regulate, Axel broke the silence. "Well I guess we're definitely more than friends, huh?"


	7. The Demons Are Alive And Well

**Chapter 7**

"The Demons Are Alive And Well"

"Yeah." Roxas's voice was still weak from anxiety and the exhaustion from their recent 'physical activities'. "So what now?" The man looked to the boy, desperate for a straight answer. "Ax, I know what I _want_. I know how I feel. I love you…" The blond managed to muster up the courage to look the man in the eyes. "And I love you too. But?" The blond could no longer look at the man. "But… But I don't think we can ever be anything more."

_Axel POV_

Anything more? Anything more? What the hell Roxas?! I paced back and forth across my room wondering these words, my hands running through my still sweaty red hair. Roxas just sat there, not even looking at me. How the fuck could he do this to me? Just play me? Screw around with my emotions? How?

"Roxas, what the hell are you saying? You _love_ me… And I fucking love you! Wha- How… how could you do this to me? Why are you fucking with my heart? What did I do? Huh? Because the last time I checked, I've done nothing but try to make you happy…" He still can't even look at me. I grab him by the face, making him look at his mistake. "Roxas! Look at me for Christ's sa-" But I can't scream at him when there are tears drowning his eyes.

"Ax, I-I can't… I'm sorry." Roxas stood up, grabbing his belongings. The boy fled through the door, I didn't even bother trying to stop him. So here I sit on my bed, face in my hands. As hard as I tried, I couldn't control the tears falling from my eyes.

_Roxas POV_

I ran so fast out of there. I'm such a coward… Always running from my problems. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm sure Axel hates my guts now. God, what have I done? _Fuck… _I've screwed everything up. Why couldn't I just tell him…

I finally managed to get home. Luckily, I'm the only one here. I run to my room, slamming the door behind me. I pace back and forth, desperate for a solution. My mind is frantic. That's when the box caught my eye. The mental battle begins.

I dash to the container, opening it's lid. I pick it up and empty the contents onto my bed. Out comes some odds and ends: keychains, pens, that sort of thing. Then stumbled out the jackpot. I snatch it up, giving the whole idea a second thought. Sitting for a moment, I let the internal battle resume. With the final verdict, I make my way to the bathroom.

I open the cabinet, exposing it's contents. A few bottles of cold medicine, some ibuprofen, and Mom's prescription. I grab the latter and clutch my 'jackpot'. I twirl the blade between my fingers, feeling the sharp cool metal graze my thumb. I glance down to my tattered wrist, and drag the blade across my skin. I let my eyes slip shut, soaking in the euphoria. As I open my eyes, I notice that this cut is deep… real deep. Looking up from the (strangely) calming sight of blood, I look at the pathetic man in the mirror. I pop open the cap, and swallow as many pills as I could squeeze down my dry throat. It seems the demons always win.

_Axel POV_

"Come on Roxas, pick up the damn phone…" Something's wrong, I know it. _Fuck. _I run out the door, straight for Roxas's house. God, please let this just be me being paranoid. Please let him be okay…

As I near his house, I notice his mom isn't there. And it looks like Sora isn't either. I open the unlocked door. "Rox? Roxas you here?" But no one answers. My stomach feels like its full of lead. Please be okay Roxas…

I walk up the stairs and hang a right. Roxas's door is closed. It's always open… I knock, but still no one responds. I turn the knob and open the door. "Rox? You in here?" I look around, but don't see him. There's a pit in my stomach… I'm about to throw up. As I walk further into his room, I turn left into his bathroom.

"Oh god! Oh my god… Roxas! Roxas!" I fell to my knees beside him. I'm shaking him, but he's not responding. I reach into my back pocket. My hand fumbles around, searching for my cell phone. Finally, I manage to pull out the device. I dial 911 while I search for a pulse, a breath, anything to tell me he's still alive.

"911, what's your emergency?" I'm crying to hard I can't even speak. "I-I need an ambulance! My friend- I think he-he overdosed." The dispatcher's attempts to calm me did nothing but aggravate me. "Look! My friend is fucking dying! I need a fucking ambulance _now_!" The woman told me they were coming, and not to hang up. I reluctantly did as I was told.

Minutes passed by and I was on the verge of breaking down. At last, I heard the paramedics at the door. I desperately called for them, informing them I was upstairs. A team of men and one woman came rushing through the door. I was bombarded with questions, but none were answered. I couldn't think. The only thing on my mind was Roxas.

"Is he going to be okay?!" I practically screamed at the poor man. "Look, he's still got a pulse. But he's been without oxygen for a while. We're gonna take him up to the hospital." They lifted him onto the stretcher and carried him to the ambulance. I immediately followed. "Sir, I'm sorry. You can't-" I was about to lose it. "Like hell I can't! Look, this boy is my entire world. I can't leave him!" Seconds later, we were on our way to the Emergency Room.

_Roxas POV_

I see nothing but darkness, and for some reason, I feel completely calm. I can hear muffled voices. Among those voices is a familiar one. The familiar voice is screaming, crying even. The familiar voice… is Axel. Suddenly, the darkness is broken by a painfully bright light. That's when I realize, my eyelids are lifting.

I can see nothing but the damn light. Everything is blurry, but I can hear Axel's muffled voice calling my name. As I regain my senses, I can feel my cold hand being squeezed tightly. The muffled voice becomes clearer, and I can begin to make out the words it says. "Roxas! Roxas, wake up!" My vision slowly focuses and I see a red-haired figure hovering over me. Bit by bit, I can see more. I look around at the pristine white room. It seems I'm in the hospital… I look back to the figure near to me. I can now see the expression on his face- pure terror.

The man leans over me, hugging my limp body tightly. His face presses firmly to my shoulder, making his pained sobs and irregular breaths all the more clear. "Roxas… Roxas I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry. I'm sorry…" What happened? My memory is a complete mess. Let's see… Axel and I confessed our feelings to each other, we got into an argument, I went home, and then- oh…. I groaned, unable to form a coherent sentence. I opened my mouth, but words couldn't come out. Instead, I lifted my heavy arms and held Axel as tight as my tired limbs would allow.

I heard the man in my arms draw in a sniffle as he looked up at me. Luckily for him, he could use his words. "Roxas, I'm sorry-" I lifted my hand to his quivering lips and placed a finger there softly. I had to stop him. Finally, I was regaining my speech. "A-Axel. Shut up. Stop. I don't want you to feel like this." I could see the blame in his eyes. "No, Roxas. It's _my_ fault." Axel leaned back down, laying his head on my lap and grabbing my sides. The words were still hard to get out. "N-No it isn't Axel. Stop." He looked to me with tears in his eyes. Axel was oozing with guilt. He pushed his teary-eyed face into my lap once again, pulling the blankets into his clenched fists. "J-just… just don't do this again. Please. I don't know what I'd do without you…" Now I'm the guilt-ridden one. "Okay." I answer simply.

We laid there for a while, just holding one another, like the other day. Everything seemed alright. But all of a sudden, the muffled voices returned. "Why does it sound like everyone's down a hallway?" That's when I heard the machine connected to me let out a lingering beep.


	8. Upon Deaf Ears

**Chapter 8**

"Upon Deaf Ears"

The doctors flooded the room, pushing Axel out. The man clutched the unconscious boy's hand, tears falling from his eyes. "No! No, I'm not leaving him!" Two of the nurses were attempting to lure the redhead out as the others worked on the boy. "Sir, we need to ask you to leave the room." He shook his head furiously, grabbing Roxas tighter. "No, no I can't leave him!" The nurses tried their damnedest to keep their calm. "We need you to wait in the waiting room, I'm sorry." The man's bottom lip quivered. He looked to the unconscious blond. "Okay…" He breathed the word shakily. Axel backed out of the room, never moving his gaze off Roxas. His eyes remained fixated on the boy until the damn nurse shut the door, completely obscuring his view.

Axel paced back and forth, nervously scratching the back of his head. He was lost in his thoughts. He was on the verge of going into a full-blown panic attack from the anxiety Roxas's condition was giving him. His mind was frantic. Stray tears remained in the man's reddened eyes. He chewed at his lower lip, completely unaware of the world around him.

_Axel POV:_

Shit, shit, shit…. I don't even know if Roxas is even _alive_ right now. God, please let him be alive. Please let him be okay. God, please let him be okay…

I've been pacing around this damn room for 45 minutes now. When the hell are they going to tell me what's going on?! My steps pause and I bring my hands to my face. I rub at my eyes, running my fingers through my hair as my hands move backward. A shaky sigh escaped through my gritted teeth. I allow myself to rest a bit as my legs kick out from under me and my body falls into the stiff cushion of the chair below me. My head drops back, resting on the wooden frame of the uncomfortable seat. I stare at the off-white ceiling, lost in thought.

It's _my_ fault. It's all my fault. Roxas could die because of _me_. It's my fault… My wallowing and self loathing was cut short by the cry of a familiar voice. "Axel!" I lift my head, recognizing the face of the voice. "Sora…" The poor kid looked like he'd been crying for hours. I lifted my body from the chair, making my way toward Roxas's twin brother. "H-how is he? Is he okay?" I toyed with the spikes at the back of my head nervously. "I don't know. I was in there and he was fine. Then all of a sudden, I don't know, he just… Something happened and they made me leave. I haven't heard anything in almost an hour."

Sora plopped onto one of the chairs, holding his face in his hands. My stomach churned in guilt. It's all my fault… I reach over and stroke his back, doing anything I can to comfort the kid. I can feel him shaking. In the smallest, most pitiful voice I've ever heard come out of the usually happy-go-lucky kid, he asked the question I feared most. "What happened?" I swallowed hard, trying to build up the courage to tell him. "T-they didn't tell you…?" Without looking up, he shook his head, brunette spikes swaying back and forth. "Roxas… He- he…" The damn words just couldn't come out. I took in a deep breath, preparing myself. "…He tried to… kill himself…" The brunette's head shot up, eyes full of terror staring back at me. "Wha…What? He tried to… kill himself?" God, this was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. "Yeah…"

Sora's teary eyes ripped away from mine, shifting his gaze back the tiles on the floor instead. He exhaled a shaky sigh. Suddenly, an unfamiliar voice called my name. I turned my head, recognizing one of the doctors. "Yes?" I sounded almost desperate. "You can see Roxas now." I grabbed Sora's hand, and bolted to room 483… Roxas's room.

I open the heavy wooden door to a dim room. Roxas laid there, eyes closed. "Oh my God! Is he dead?!" I allowed myself to smile slightly. "No, he's not dead." The two of us walk over to Roxas, taking either side of the bed. I wrap my larger hand tightly around his. Sora rested his own on top of Roxas's other hand.

The sound of the door creaking open broke the silence that filled the room. "He's able to breath on his own, and his heart rate has stabilized. But, he just won't wake up. His state has become comatose." My slight smile immediately fell at the drop of that last word. "He's in a coma? Is he going to be okay?" I looked to the doctor, desperate for some well-deserved good news. But I got none. "I don't know. But, his comatose state is rather light. He's opened his eyes a few times, reacted to pain, just not regained complete consciousness." That gave me at least a little hope…

I look back to Roxas as the doctor left to give as some privacy. Neither Sora nor I spoke. The two of us just sat there in silence, each gripping one of Roxas's hands. My mind, however, was not as quiet as the room. Thoughts flooded my brain.

_How could this be happening? Just a few days ago, everything seemed to be fine. I never even thought anything was wrong. I never even noticed how bad he was hurting. And I always thought Roxas was the oblivious one… _

Suddenly, Sora spoke, silencing my thoughts. "I think I should probably head home. I've got school tomorrow." I nodded in agreement. "Alright, I'll stay with him. Don't worry, I won't leave his side." The brunette let just the slightest smile rest on his face. "I know, Roxas is in good hands." I smiled myself, realizing Sora's sincerity.

As Sora was getting ready to leave, I realized there was someone missing, someone who _definitely _should have been here. "Hey, Sora?" The brunette turned his head to me, raising his eyebrows in question. "Yeah?" I was treading on a minefield with this sort of conversation… "How come your mom's not here?" His expression fell, returning his gaze to the floor below us. "I didn't tell her…" I tried to stay as calm as possible. But my tone came out a little more snippy than I intended. "What! Why didn't you tell her?" Sora's eyes shot up at me, almost furiously. "She doesn't care anyway! There's no _point_ in telling her!" I could see the tears in his hurting eyes. "Sorry… I didn't mean to-" But he cut me short. "No, I'm sorry Axel… I shouldn't have freaked out like that. It's just… me and Roxas, we don't really get along with Mom. She's a horrible person when she's drunk. And she's _always_ drunk." Why hadn't Roxas ever told me any of this? "I didn't know…"

Sora dropped the conversation and continued to pack up. He slipped on his big clown shoes and threw his bag over his shoulder. He said goodbye to Roxas, then he was gone. I had never seen that kid so… depressed. Hell, I don't know if I had ever even seen him without that big goofy smile of his before today.

I walked over to Roxas's side, entwining our fingers. I heard once that people in comas can sometimes be aware of what's going on around them. I had nothing to lose I guess…

"Roxas? I don't know if you can hear me, but… I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I know you said that you didn't want me to feel shitty like this, but I- I can't help it. I completely blame myself. I was such a jerk to you. I just fucking kicked you when you were down. But, please, you can't leave me… I love you, Roxas. God, I love you so fucking much… You can't go. I don't know what I'd do without you." My voice was shaking, tears trying to push their way out of my eyes.

I leaned down, placing a kiss on those sweet, sweet lips of his. I pulled away, indulging myself in one last look at his precious face. As sleep weighted my eyelids, I rested my head on Roxas's shoulder. I fell asleep in a chair beside his bed, leaning over it so my upper body rested against his. One hand wrapped around his side, the other holding one of his. Our fingers never once came unhooked.

Roxas has been comatose for three days now. I haven't left this hospital once since he was admitted. I eat all my meals here, wash up in the bathroom in Roxas's room, and have Sora bring any school work I've missed (not that I'll actually do it). Sora has come to visit him everyday after school. He tells Roxas about Riku, school, Riku, gossip, Riku… the usual things Sora talks about. He talks to Roxas as though nothing's wrong. As though Roxas isn't unconscious and in a coma…

That third night, after Sora left, I did the usual routine. I pulled the chair beside Roxas's bed, turned the lights off, locked our fingers together, and gave him a goodnight kiss. But that night, I found a glimmer of hope in this seemingly futile situation. As I distanced our lips, a barely audible word escaped Roxas's.

"Axel…"

**Author's Note:**

I'd love to get some feedback from you guys. Criticism is good, flames welcome :)


	9. Your Guardian Angel

**Chapter 9**

"Your Guardian Angel"

**Hey guys! It's back!**

-x-X-x-

"Roxas?!" My grip on the boy's smaller hand tightened almost painfully. "Roxas, please wake up…" My head dropped to his chest and the tears started streaming down my face. Will he ever wake up?

I lifted my head and looked into cerulean eyes. "R-Roxas!" My head instinctively dropped back into his stomach. My sobs came harsh and breathless. "Roxas, you- you're…." I paused and looked back into those dazed eyes. "Don't you ever do that to me again." I spoke weakly, trying my best not to break. He didn't say anything, but I could tell by his reaction that he understood. His clouded eyes filled with tears as his face became veiled with guilt. My lanky arms circled his waist and I held him close. As I buried my face in his stomach, small fingers raked through my hair.

"Roxas, you have no idea how much I love you." My voice was muffled through his shirt, but I knew he heard me when his fingers clutched my hair. I looked up from his shirt and met his gaze. His eyes were red and puffy from his silent sobs. I lifted myself from his smaller body and stood to my feet. After a moment of hesitation, I climbed onto the bed and straddled his lap.

"Axel…What are you?" But my lips over his shut him up. He responded almost instantly with the same passion as I was giving. My large hands cupped his face, desperately trying to deepen the kiss. Our lips danced in sloppy movements and our tongues tasted one another. His smaller hands clawed through my hair as our heated make out session continued on the hospital bed.

In my excitement, my hips instinctively ground into his. Roxas yelped in surprise and sunk into the mattress away from me. "Axel, we can't do that here…" I looked down at him through lidded eyes, my lips still in a pucker. I looked down to find both of us had gotten a little too excited. "Oh, sorry. I guess I just got lost in the moment." I chuckled and rolled off him until I laid beside him. I looked back down at the tented cloth then back at Roxas's beat red face.

"Do you want me to…?" I nudged my head toward his obvious problem. He looked down innocently and his blush deepened. "Eh?! What? I said we can't-" But I cut in. "I know, I can't fuck your brains out in the hospital." Blushing deeper… beautiful. "But Rox…" I held my right hand up and wiggled my fingers in front of his face. "I've got a hand. It doesn't have to be anything special. Just- *insert obscene hand gestures and tongue clicking*" He stared at me as if gauging my seriousness. I raised an eyebrow and slid my hand under his gown. My lanky fingers gently massaged his inner thigh, creeping upwards as I awaited an answer. "Okay." I grinned deviously and wrapped my fingers around his stiff length. My eyes remained locked on his expression as he experienced the sweet relief. It didn't take long. I knew all the little spots that made Roxie go over the edge. It might only be a quick little hand job, but I was going to make sure it was the best damn hand job of his life. The second I saw that look in his eye, the one that told me he was close, I shifted my body down between his legs. "Ax, what are you doing?" He asked me breathlessly. I slid my hand to the base of his erection and looked into his eyes. "I don't want make a mess…" I told his slyly through a grin. I wrapped my lips around the tip and rolled my tongue around his slit. His hand griped a fistful of my hair in response and I took that as my cue to swallow him to the hilt. He stifled a moan as I took him into my throat. "Oh my god, Ax…" He whispered to me in that sexy voice of his that drove me crazy. "Cum for me, Roxas." Just moments later, warm liquid filled my mouth and I swallowed every drop.

My body snuck from under the sheet and rested on top of his smaller body. I supported my weight on my arms, I didn't want to crush my Roxie. I rested there and stared down at his gorgeous face. His breathing was labored as he came down from his high. "Now you're all dirty. I'll help you get washed up." I winked at him as I climbed off the bed and onto my feet. "Ax, you don't have to-" I looked back at him as I was on my was to the bathroom and cut him short. "Nope. I'm going to. Now strip." I pointed at his gown and smirked at the sexual remark. I turned back and stepped into the bathroom and closed the door. I looked down at my lingering 'problem' and sighed. I guess I had to finish myself.

"Alright, Roxie! Let's get you washed u-" I halted my hollering when I saw the blond laying down with his eyes shut. My stomach instinctively churned with anxiety. I dashed to his side and shook him.

"Roxas!" His eyes cracked open and his voice came out gritty with exhaustion.

"What?" I breathed a sigh of immense relief.

"Sorry, I just thought that you… ya know… went into a coma again or something…" I sat down on the cold tiled floor beside his bed. My back rested against the hard metal frame as my body slumped tiredly.

"Axel." I turned my head and looked up to meet Roxas's eyes.

"Hm?" He stared at me for just a brief moment before he scooted his body over and patted the freed spot on the bed. I grinned wildly and didn't hesitate to climb into bed. My long arms pulled him close, conforming his smaller frame to my own. Feeling a shiver run through him, I reached down and pulled the blanket over both of us. Roxas snuggled closer to my chest and inhaled deeply.

"Did you just sniff me?" I chuckled and looked down at the top of his head.

"Maybe…" Even though his face was successfully buried into my neck, I could still hear the smile in his voice. I leaned down, placed a kiss on his blond spikes, and inhaled an exaggerated breath. He chuckled and looked up at me.

"Did _you_ just sniff _me_?" I laughed and pulled him closer.

"Maybe…"

-x-X-x-

I woke up that morning to a room full of doctors. They swarmed Roxas, taking vitals and other tests like crazy. I heard something about how it was a miracle that he had waken up. Did they really not expect him to come back? Could he really have…?

"Axel?" I shifted my attention to the blond calling my name.

"Yeah?" I looked around at the room. I guess the doctors must have left while I was lost in thought.

"They said I might be heading home tomorrow." Usually I was spot on when it came to reading people, especially Roxas. But not now. I can't tell what he's feeling through that facade. He's smiling a little, but his eyes still look pained. I don't understand…

"That's great Rox!" I tried to be cheerful for him.

"Yeah, it is." Sadness, disappointment, what? What is this emotion?

-x-X-x-

"Axel, you passed by my house." I kept my eyes locked on the road, set on my destination.

"I know." He was looking at me, but I couldn't look at him. If I looked at him, I'd end up grinning like an idiot. Teasing Roxas is fun and all, but sometimes its hard.

"Where are we going?" Out of the corner of my eyes I could see him hugging the sleeves of my oversized black sweatshirt that I lent him.

"You'll see." I answer plainly, trying hard not to smile.

After a few more questions from Roxas, we finally arrived at our destination. "We're here!" I said excitedly through a wide smile and finally looked at Roxas. His blond head turned to look out the window. I heard him chuckle before he looked back at me and smiled knowingly. "Come on." I pulled the keys from the ignition and dashed out of my door and around the car to the passenger's side. Before he could retaliate, I opened the door and took his hand like a gentleman. He let me take his hand and smiled ear to ear, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." I reluctantly let go of his hand and went to place our order.

"Okay." He called back to me and waved. God, he looked so adorable in my sweatshirt. I smiled to myself and waited for someone at the counter to appear.

"Hi, two sea salt ice creams please." I held up two fingers and dug around for my wallet.

"That'll be 500 munny."

"What? 200 munny a pop?!" I sighed and handed the woman the correct amount. In return, she disappeared into the kitchen and retrieved two blue bars of ice cream.

"Enjoy." I refrained from rolling my eyes at her utter lack of enthusiasm. I took the two ice creams from her hands and gave her my thanks.

"Roxas I-" I stopped when I saw three teenagers huddled around him. "Hey!" I yelled and ran full speed toward the group. "Get the fuck off him!" I dropped the ice cream and grabbed a fistful of the blond kid's shirt.

"Woah, calm down! We were just having a little chat with Roxas." He arrogantly looked over to the crumpled ball of blond laying on the ground. "Isn't that right faggot?"

"What did you do to him Seifer?" He met my gaze again and smirked evilly.

"Nothing he didn't have coming." That's it. I threw the scrawny kid to the ground and dropped to my knees beside Roxas. I stroked his hair and brushed the stray pieces out of his face.

"Hey, you okay?" I wiped away a bit of dirt on his cheek with my thumb and helped him into a sitting position.

"I'm fine." His voice was weak, almost pitiful.

"This'll just take a sec, okay?" He looked up at me with teary eyes. I patted his cheek and climbed to my feet. I stood a good 4 inches above even the tallest of their posse: Rai, the ape-man. I turned to face Seifer and got intimidatingly close. "I ought to kick your ass, you know that?"

"Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try." I could tell he was trying his best to seem tough. "Yeah, Seifer could take you any day, ya know?" Fucking ape. The gloomy girl beside Rai just nodded.

"As much as I'd love to prove it to you, I've got better things to do than hand your own ass to you. So I'll let you off with a warning." I leaned down to get in the beanie-wearing brat's face. "Stay the fuck away from Roxas."

"Or what?" He smirked and crossed his arms, trying to look unfazed.

"Or next time I see you, you'll be in a body bag."

"Axel!" I turned around to see Roxas looking scared and embarrassed.

"Oops looks like you upset your boyfriend." I turned back to Seifer who was wearing his cocky grin.

"He isn't my boyfriend." I mumbled, remembering Roxas's rejection. I stepped away from Seifer and hauled Roxas to his feet. "Come on, let's go." I mumbled again and brought him to the park that stood next to the ice cream parlor. I led him into the shade below the trees and took a seat in the grass. Roxas copied my actions and sat beside me.

"Axel…" I looked over to Roxas. He looked embarrassed as he anxiously twiddled his thumbs. "Sorry."

"About what? What have you got to be sorry for?" I paused and looked at Roxas slightly bewildered.

"About everything." He snuck a glance at me and then back to his twiddling thumbs. "About getting in trouble back there, about hurting myself, about trying to kill myself, about rejecting you…" His words trailed off as he failed to meet my gaze. "So, I'm sorry."

I didn't know what to say. Sometimes, when Roxas gets all cute like this, I have a hard time with my words… And controlling myself. I took two fistfuls of his shirt and pulled him toward me until our lips crashed into each other. He was tense at first, like always. But within seconds, he was ravenously kissing me back and pawing his small hands through my hair.

But as quickly as it started, it ended. Roxas's lips retreated and his fingertips covered them in surprise. "I-I'm- I mean- I…" He rambled nonsense and stumbled to his feet. Just as he was turning to walk away, I grabbed his wrist and pulled back toward me.

"God damn it, Roxas!" His smaller body fell onto mine so he sat on my knee facing me. "You've really gotta stop running from your problems." I studied his scared features as he chewed on his lip.

"Sorr-"

"Jesus Christ, Rox if you apologize one more time I'm going to slap you." I smiled jokingly and he returned a little grin. It fell silent for a moment before I gathered my words. "Roxas?" He looked up at me, a glint of fear in his eyes.

"Yeah?" I stared at him for a minute, considering the consequences of what I was about to do.

"I love you." He almost looked… surprised.

"I love you too."

"Then why can't we be together?"

"Ax, I-" He stopped and intertwined our fingers. "I love you. More than you know. But…" His thumb ran along mine ever so gently. "It's because I love you that I can't be with you."

"Rox, you aren't making sense."

"You have a lot going for you, Axel. You're smart, you're talented, you're going somewhere… You don't need someone like me to ruin all that."

"You're so stupid Roxas…" Before he could say anything else, I pulled our interlocked hands toward my waist so he fell toward me. Our lips met again. But this time, the kiss was short and sweet. "Roxas, I'd gladly give all that up for you. You really think I care about some stupid piece of paper and a fancy title more than you? Roxas, no amount of money in this world could make me as happy as you do." That's when his face turned that lovely shade of pink.

"Axel, I don't want you to throw away your future for me."

" If I wanna throw away all that useless shit, then it's my decision. Don't you ever feel like my fuck ups are your fault. I want my future to be with you."

"But, Axel I-"

"Roxas, if we both love each other, then we should be together. Right?" He looked at me and nodded innocently. "Then Roxas Hikari Strife, will you please be my partner in crime, my shoulder to lean on, my make-out buddy, and last but not least- my boyfriend…" I lifted our locked fingers and turned his hand toward my lips and gently kissed it.

"It would be my pleasure." He chuckled and kissed my hand back. My lips curled into the widest smile of my life. His perfection is making me lose my self control… With one hand behind his neck, and one twined with his, I pulled him into a kiss. It started off innocent, just a sweet closed-mouth kiss. Then we got a little carried away and starting making out in the park. Roxas somehow found his way onto my lap, moving his hips in unspeakable ways that turned me on to no end. The kiss was hot, really fucking hot. Perhaps too hot for the park though…

We were snapped out of that fantastic kiss when a few teenagers walked by and called, "get a room, fags!" I bit my tongue for Roxas's sake and walked him back to my car. I helped him in, even though he told me he could do it himself. I got into my own seat, and before I could put the key in the ignition, Roxas was out of his seat and into my lap. "What the hell are you doing?" I chuckled as he struggled to grab the seatbelt behind my head. "I'm _trying_ to buckle you in seeing as you never do it yourself." He finally managed to secure my seatbelt with a click, then met my gaze as he looked up from the belt. "There…" He said it softly, almost distractedly. A smirk crept across my face at the sight before me. "So that's what you're into?" His eyes squinted and an eyebrow raised in confusion. "What?" I laughed and ran a finger along the smooth fabric that restrained me. "Tying people up? Ya know, kinky shit?" I winked seductively and his face turned beat red. "What?! No! I was putting on your seatbelt so you don't die, you dumbass!" I chuckled and kissed the tip of his nose. "Hm, that's a shame. Thought it woulda been kinda hot…" I looked back up at him deviously and flicked my tongue over his lips. "Just drive…" He climbed off my lap and crawled over to the passenger side. On his way over, I found him on all fours, ass in the air. I slapped my hand across his cute little butt and turned the key. "Ah! Axel!" He shrieked and I laughed until tears threatened to come out. "Come on, let's get you home."

**Author's Note: Hey guys! It's back! Chapters for this story as well as See Ya Buddy might come a little slower now. Some one-shots may also pop up every now and again. The hiatus on Grasping At Straws is still in place. I honestly don't know if I'll lift it though. It was my first story, and I'm not too big of a fan of it. But, if you guys like it, then let me know and I'll keep working on it! **

**—-Please don't forget to leave a review!-—**

**Much love, **

**Demikkusu/Otakuscum**


End file.
